Guest post from Sam Breen, at The Gentleman Life
You want to be successful. I want to be successful. I want you to be successful. And I want you to want to be successful.
So, I took a little inspiration from Stephen R. Covey’s book and added a little twist and instead I have listed 7 habits of unsuccessful people, the habits that are holding you back.
Holding you back from what? You may be asking at this point. The answer:
What you want. What you desire. Your life purpose.
I don’t care what it is, if you completely remove the following habits, you can have whatever you want in life.
Habits are patterns of behavior and they can be hard to break. But taking action and applying self-discipline will help you overcome even the most deeply ingrained habits.
You have to practice the habit consciously before it becomes an unconscious effort (when it becomes easy) there is a great quote I love, although I can’t remember from whom I read it. It goes like this:
“Firstly, you form your success habits and then, you let them form you.”
If you know who it was, comment and let me know because I’d love to give the appropriate credit. What that means is, after you put in all the conscious effort to make your habit truly effortless, they will form you into an entirely different, more successful person.
Maxwell Maltz stated in his amazing book “Psycho-cybernetics” that habits usually take 21 days to form. Other psychologists have agreed and of course, some have disagreed.
Me? I’m a bit dubious that you can fully form a new habit, and replace an old one in 21 days. In my experience it takes longer than 21 days, depending on the habit you are trying to create and how deeply rooted it is into your behavior.
My advice would be to practice your new habit for 60 days, even if you feel it has become a habit before then, carry it on so the habit becomes stronger and stronger thus making them harder to break.
So, onto the list of habits you need to BREAK!
1. Judging others
People who judge other people are only projecting their insecurities onto the world. People who are comfortable in their own skin have no reason to judge others, they just let them do what they do.
The mental energy that you put into judging other people could be used for a more productive purpose. Instead, Why not take a look at yourself, objectively look at your weaknesses and see how you can change them into strengths? Or take a look are your strengths and see how you can make them even better.
Focus on yourself, and your own success and not other peoples.
“What you eat don’t make me shit” – J Cole
Also, the negative feelings you feel towards other people manifest to more negativity in your life. Positivity is the way forward, my friend. Spread the love.
2. Being selfish
If you haven’t read Adam Grant’s book ‘Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success’ I would recommend that you do.
The basis behind the book is simple. Be selfless and help people without wanting anything in return. It’s a simple idea that has a powerful effect because everyone out there is out to get; thus, you immediately stand out if you just give for no reason.
There are very few people who give just to give. Most people only give on a quid pro quo basis.
For the book, Grant did a whole lot of research that found the selfless people (Givers) always out perform the selfish people (Takers) in all industries.
Although, you should never exhaust yourself with too much giving. Grant recommends you have a specified day in which you do all your selfless acts. This way you stick on your own life’s path and are able to accomplish the things you want to accomplish.
If you do too much giving you can find yourself without time to achieve your own goals. It’s not selfish to have your own success as a priority.
There is a really great point I want to make. I’ll get to it later.
Now or never.
This is an obvious barrier to success and it’s the biggest reason that dreams are not fulfilled.
People put off overcoming procrastination. Don’t get me started on the irony of that. It’s time to get up off your ass and achieve all the goals you are destined to achieve.
Start now by watching videos of successful people to help motivate you. Then, treat procrastination as a muscle that you need to develop.
You never train a muscle by doing the heaviest weight in the gym if you’ve never trained before. Why? Because you won’t be able to life it.
The same is with procrastination. Don’t try to go from being a couch potato from ultra-productive overnight. Slowly and gradually build up your workload and you’ll find that in a month or two, you have completely banished procrastination from your life.
4. Waiting for the perfect moment
I’ve put this directly after procrastination for a reason. It is procrastination but on a large scale.
There is no “perfect” moment to start a business, to make a change, to join a gym. You need to throw this excuse from your head and straight into the bin marked “Shit I don’t need”
You can tell yourself “First, I need to get this in order, then I’ll be able to do it” or “I have to know this first before I can tackle that”.
What your doing is just feeding yourself bullshit. The time is now. This moment.
Now. Go. Moments don’t get more perfect than this one right here.
5. Having an ego
As you go through life, there are always going to be people you meet that are probably not as smart as you. That’s a given: There’s always someone smarter than you, and there’s always someone less intellectually talented than you.
You need to realize that even if there not at your IQ level, you can still learn something off them.
You can always learn something off every single person you come into contact with.
Don’t listen to your ego when it says “I’m smarter than this guy, I don’t need his help”.
You can’t know everything. But everyone knows something you don’t, and if you can overcome your ego, you can learn a lot more.
6. Trying to make it alone
This ties in a lot with ego. That’s why its come directly after it.
Success without help is impossible. Understand your weaknesses and employ people that have your weaknesses as their strengths.
Understand that you’re not an expert at everything, but expert help is what you need.
7. Being satisfied
I mentioned this every so briefly in Post New Years Resolutions. And I used a quote that I love, so I’m going to use it again. Okay?
“Be happy, but never satisfied” – Bruce Lee
Once you becomes satisfied with whatever point you are in your life, you stop growing. And a law of the universe states that nothing ever remains still. Thus if you’re not going forwards… you’re going backwards. Regressing. Devolving. No longer a badass. Until one day you wake up in dirty underwear surrounded by days old pizza boxes wondering how your life took such a dramatic turn.
Okay, you reached your goals you set. Awesome! Reward yourself, and set new one’s. Always be hungry. Never be satisfied. There are always new levels to reach.
There’s your lucky 7!
I hope you practice what I’ve preached.
Commit the next 60 days to changing any of the above habits you possess. In the mean time I would really appreciate it if you could share the page using on off the buttons below; it really helps us grow!
Thanks for reading and thanks for sharing!