You Can Still Lie, Even Without Saying A Word
From the Slow Leadership blog ...
Authentic communication, the cornerstone of all trusting relationships, requires far more than speaking the truth.
Amidst all the articles and advice on being authentic, one area that isn’t looked at as often as it should be is how communication that isn’t authentic destroys trust. I don’t just mean lying — deliberately setting out to mislead or twist the facts. Communication can be just as inauthentic when every word and sentence is correct (factually at least), yet the overall impression left with the other person is derived from a false image of who you are, what you believe and where you are coming from.
In the words of the old song: “It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it.” The words you use, the tone of voice, the circumstances in which the ‘message’ is passed — even your facial expressions and body language — can all be used to create a false picture in the other person’s mind; one that will give your words a different meaning from their face value. When this happens, your hearers (or readers) are as thoroughly mislead as they would be if every word of what you said or wrote were untrue.
We are surrounded by people who deliberately use words in ways that conceal their true meaning. They add a gloss that changes the message, conceals a hidden agenda, or is designed to evoke specific emotions. All the time, they are calculating what will make what they say convey something other than the plain words express.
Advertisers, copywriters, PR people, spokespeople for special interests, lawyers, politicians: all are adept at using their words to conceal and manipulate. The authenticity of their communication is low because they are striving to create a specific impact, without revealing anything of themselves or what they truly believe. They show little, if any, empathy for those they are dealing with either. They care next to nothing about them, just so long as they react as required and buy, vote or believe in whatever way they are being told to do.
Once people understand what has been going on, they feel cheated and abused — even if the message passed was factually correct. These people — The Manipulators — cannot be trusted because they always have hidden agendas.
Read the rest of the article ....
Authentic communication, the cornerstone of all trusting relationships, requires far more than speaking the truth.
Amidst all the articles and advice on being authentic, one area that isn’t looked at as often as it should be is how communication that isn’t authentic destroys trust. I don’t just mean lying — deliberately setting out to mislead or twist the facts. Communication can be just as inauthentic when every word and sentence is correct (factually at least), yet the overall impression left with the other person is derived from a false image of who you are, what you believe and where you are coming from.
In the words of the old song: “It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it.” The words you use, the tone of voice, the circumstances in which the ‘message’ is passed — even your facial expressions and body language — can all be used to create a false picture in the other person’s mind; one that will give your words a different meaning from their face value. When this happens, your hearers (or readers) are as thoroughly mislead as they would be if every word of what you said or wrote were untrue.
We are surrounded by people who deliberately use words in ways that conceal their true meaning. They add a gloss that changes the message, conceals a hidden agenda, or is designed to evoke specific emotions. All the time, they are calculating what will make what they say convey something other than the plain words express.
Advertisers, copywriters, PR people, spokespeople for special interests, lawyers, politicians: all are adept at using their words to conceal and manipulate. The authenticity of their communication is low because they are striving to create a specific impact, without revealing anything of themselves or what they truly believe. They show little, if any, empathy for those they are dealing with either. They care next to nothing about them, just so long as they react as required and buy, vote or believe in whatever way they are being told to do.
Once people understand what has been going on, they feel cheated and abused — even if the message passed was factually correct. These people — The Manipulators — cannot be trusted because they always have hidden agendas.
Read the rest of the article ....
Labels: authenticity, communication, honesty, trust
posted by mick yates @ 9:57 PM permalink
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